Is This Really So Wrong?

Today, well technically yesterday seeing as it’s just past midnight, I purged. I also exercised (although not as much as I should have) and cut. I only cut the once, but I so needed it. Needed it like an addict needs a hit.

Anyway, tomorrow (technically today yada yada) I’m starving completely and going to a hair dressers to fill my day. At least making the appointment. Tomorrow I’m also going to tidy the house, and sort some stuff out. Finish filling out job applications. Fun, fun, fun.

Keep myself busy, and I’ll be okay.

I’ve been talking to my boyfriend and my friends, and slowly things about me are seeping out. I mean, both my friends now know about the ED stuff and the depression, when they didn’t before. I tell my boyfriend everything (almost)… He said the other day about how I can be really drama-queen-ish about everything, and I guess I am. He doesn’t know the full extent of what I feel though, so he can’t fully judge…but I do over-act it, I guess…

Loads of girls purge and self harm, and although I may be worse on the self harming thing than anyone I know, it’s still a common outlet that people my age and older use. Even younger, but less often. What I’m trying to say, is maybe this isn’t something to worry over. Maybe I should just take it as it comes and accept that this is part of my life.